just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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