You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
