WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize