I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
