Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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