it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
