was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
