Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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