We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
