She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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