by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
