I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
