So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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