I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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