writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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