I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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