Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
