what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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