you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize