Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
