ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
