why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
