Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
