there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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