I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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