we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
