The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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