If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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