now i know why i became what i already was.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Randomize
