Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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