Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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