You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
