I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
