Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
