it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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