Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
