Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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