He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
