All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize