At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize