I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Everclear isn't food dammit
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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