I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
