they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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