It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
