He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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