she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
