I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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