Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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