im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
