Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
