plz talk dirty to me
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
