He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
