Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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