Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i think i have two assholes
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
