one might say we're banned from that church
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
