FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
